"Motherhood brought on a real identity crisis for me"
Posted: 14 July 2025
An honest conversation with Gabriella Simonian from @_noregrettispaghetti
Everyone talks about the love.
The cuddles, the first smile, their tiny fingers wrapped around yours. Those things are life-changing.
But what people don’t talk about is... well, everything else.
The identity shifts, the mum guilt, and the loneliness.
We spoke with Gabriella from @_noregrettispaghetti about what the first year of motherhood was really like for her.
Her words are real, raw, and relatable. Because although this season of life is beautiful, it’s also big and messy and transformative.
For Gabriella Simonian, content creator, writer, and mum to a 17-month-old daughter, the first year of motherhood wasn’t just about learning how to care for a baby. It was about learning how to care for herself again, too.
“Motherhood brought on a real identity crisis for me,” she says. “Even now 17 months in I find myself wondering who I am anymore, underneath being a mum.” That quiet questioning often came with guilt. “At times I feel intensely guilty for longing to be the me before, and I think sometimes this retrospection can shadow my ability to embrace the me that I am now - who I am really proud of.”
"It took me a while to realise that it’s ok to keep my cup full and pursue my own interests in the balance of motherhood"
This tug-of-war between who we were and who we’re becoming is something many new mums experience but rarely talk about openly.
For Gabriella, it came on fast, amplified by the weight of “mum guilt” that seemed to lurk around every corner. “I didn’t realise that doing anything for myself would bring on so many feelings of guilt, shame etc - it took me a while to realise that it’s ok to keep my cup full and pursue my own interests in the balance of motherhood, in fact that it’s integral to my ability to show up as the best version of myself for my daughter.”
Gabriella, her husband Patrick, and their (adorable) daughter, Pia
"Even now 17 months in I find myself wondering who I am anymore, underneath being a mum.”
And while Gabriella is quick to acknowledge the mess and overwhelm of the first year, she’s just as quick to point to the magic. “Getting to watch your child grow and learn at the most wildly exponential rate is such a beautiful wonder.”
Like many new parents, sleep deprivation became a defining feature of those early months. Drawing on her own experience, she offers a reminder, “It is completely normal for your baby to wake multiple times a night,” she says. “Don’t obsess over the idea that babies can sleep through from X weeks old - every baby is different and will be on their own timeline.”
Support wasn’t something Gabriella had in abundance. “We have been on this journey mostly alone from day one,” she says. As an expat in Australia with her husband’s family living interstate, she had to build her village from the ground up. “I joined a mother’s group through QLD children’s health and it provided a wonderful support network of other mums going through the same thing as me,” she says. “Finding friends in motherhood is so important because life can feel very lonely, even though it is probably one of the least unique experiences a human can have.”
That community became even more important as Gabriella transitioned back to work. “Early education has also become part of our village and enabled me to go back to work part time,” she shares. “ Finding a daycare that my daughter loves that supports her learning and development so I can continue to pursue my career has been transformative.”
Shoot credits to Cassandra Ladru
Naturally, that return came with a shift in how she viewed success.
“Before having my daughter I thought success looked like being booked and busy all the time…Now that I’m a mum, my idea of success has definitely changed. Success looks like being able to spend as much time as I can with my daughter while she’s still so young, and second to that doing work that is meaningful”
That’s led Gabriella to focus more on creative partnerships that feel aligned, and to build offline spaces where deeper connection can happen. “I’m focused on collaborating with brands that feel naturally aligned with me,” she says, “and creating more opportunities for offline connection through my recently launched workshops and events.”
"Now, success looks like being able to spend as much time as I can with my daughter while she’s still so young"
The biggest surprise isn't the sleep deprivation or the identity shift. It's how much grace you need to give yourself to survive it all. “It is truly the most selfless role, and there’s never a question of putting everything (and everyone) else first.”
To keep up with Gabriella’s motherhood journey, and her seriously impressive pasta skills, tap the button below.
